Game 1: Watford 4 QPR 0 (05.08.23)

And just to make our day complete Dykes passes to their keeper

WHY?

'kin 'ell.

Probably just so he can get his match fee.

But at least it shows as a shot on target in the stats.

And some soppy cunts are clapping

Should resign tonight and admit

The job is too much for him

Resign Gareth and Amit too

Qpr are an embarressment now

Cringingly bad stats...

Looking on the bright side, if we were in this position on the last day of the season, most of us would be delighted.

Only three points off top spot.

Ainsworth trending on Twitter 🤣😂🤣

BBC reporter:

"Full-blown QPR horror show."

"If I was a QPR fan I'd be very, very worried."

get noddy out first

Fucking this !!

This. We needed to ship eight. Fans took the piss second half. Don't know what you're doing sang when he did a double sub in the 97th minute. He looked destroyed at the end.

How the fuck did that wanker stay on the pitch until the 97th minute?

Match report (not mine):

Watford blow away abject QPR with four-goal demolition job in first half

The opening weekend of the season is meant to be a time of universal optimism, when fans can bask in the sunshine and dream about a campaign which is yet to take shape. This game was set to a backdrop of spitting drizzle and granite skies, a cold dose of reality before a ball had even been kicked.

Both Watford and QPR arrived at Vicarage Road in a fog of unknowns, with fans having good reason to be cautious with their expectations. After another underwhelming season of managerial Russian roulette and a summer which marked the departures of João Pedro and Ismaïla Sarr, two of their best performers, the hosts were hoping for a new dawn under Valérien Ismaël.

The visitors, meanwhile, were looking for a clean slate under Gareth Ainsworth, who took only three wins from 13 games after succeeding Neil Critchley in February. Where Ismaël, greeted by a huge cheer from the home fans, stuck with familiar faces in his starting line-up, Ainsworth started several summer signings in Asmir Begovic, Morgan Fox and Paul Smyth.

With Fox partnering the inexperienced Joe Gubbins in the centre, QPR’s new-look back line made the worst possible start when they were sliced open with under a minute on the clock. A move which began with Ryan Porteous playing out from the back ended with Imran Louza hooking an instinctive through ball round a blind corner to Tom Dele-Bashiru, who slotted beneath Begovic to claim the first goal. QPR soon lapsed into their worst habits from the second half of last season, surrendering possession and lacking attacking intent.

Louza, deceptively laidback on the ball, made it 2-0 after 20 minutes with another moment of languid genius, turning into space before unleashing a curling shot beyond Begovic and into the far corner. From there, QPR’s jittery retreat became a head-over-heels rout. Matheus Martins and Jeremy Ngakia forced Begovic into close-range saves after exploiting overlaps out wide, Vakoun Bayo headed over, while Wesley Hoedt and Francisco Sierralta went close in quick succession. Louza, pulling the strings effortlessly in midfield, played another superb ball over the top to Dele-Bashiru, but Begovic was equal to his stinging effort on the volley.

Martins got the third soon afterwards, Ken Sema’s cross teeing him up for a flicked header which tumbled into the back of the net. The fourth came not long before half-time, Sierralta getting in behind on the right and setting up Bayo for a simple finish with a raking cross to the far post. That was the cue for a number of QPR fans to head for the exits, only some of whom re-emerged after the restart. There was a chorus of boos from the away end at the break, though it felt less scathing than the ironic cheers which greeted an aimless passing move early in the second half.

That stung the visitors into a response, Ilias Chair drawing a first save from Daniel Bachmann from a tight angle. The away fans responded in kind, part roaring, part goading their side on. Just when it seemed like QPR had reset the tempo, Ngakia went on the counterattack and set up Louza for an ambitious dink which rattled the crossbar. After a long break in play as Gubbins received treatment for a knock, Watford re-established control and once again had Begovic leaping and diving in all directions. Giorgi Chakvetadze, on for his debut, was inches away from setting up Bayo for his second, but the Ivorian forward failed to connect with his swinging cross with the goal at his mercy.

Even as Watford eased off in anticipation of the final whistle, the contrast between the two teams was stark: one with a weight off their shoulders, playing neat one-twos and making runs for fun, and the other labouring under some invisible burden. Ismaël could not have asked for a better introduction at Vicarage Road, having given the home fans more reason for optimism for the season ahead. As for the visitors, the feeling will be much the opposite. If this was a new beginning for QPR, fans will struggle to look forward to the middle and end.

WILL MAGEE AT VICARAGE ROAD